Happy Monday

No, the title isn't some overly-caffeinated word-vomit spewing onto this page.
It's how I feel. It's a happy Monday, for me.....finally.

You see...the last few weeks I have been in a bit of a rut, and it all seems to come to a head on Monday's. I hate to be that cliche person, but Monday's have seemed to be extremely rough to get motivated, get back on schedule, stay focused, and most importantly...stay AWAKE.

So, I started to proactively seek changes in my routine and in my life in general.

For one, I decided my morning commute needed a bit of a boost. After reducing my commute time from nearly an hour and a half each way, down to 25 minutes, you would think that alone would be enough of a change to have me shouting from the rooftops.

And it did, for a couple of years.

But now, even though I get to sit in the comfort of my own vehicle and sip warm coffee, alone, which is something I always crave....two things kept me from really enjoying the commute.

First is what I listen to. I realized I am constantly battling with the radio. I like talk radio in the mornings and CAN. NOT. STAND. most new age music these days (as in whatever plays in between talk segments on Kiss FM. That is not actual music in my eyes.) so I was constantly flipping through the channels, distracted...which would then translate into me dashing in between cars and fighting against bumper to bumper traffic, trying to get my commute over with as quickly as possible so I didn't have to be annoyed any longer.

The second issue is my mind was constantly wandering. Now I know sometimes that can be a good thing when you're trying to come up with a plan or new idea, but anxiety stems directly from a wandering mind and it is not good for me.

My solution?  Podcasts.

I reached out to people on social media and set up my blue-tooth in the truck to stream some calming, yet inspiring conversations each morning.

And the change has been glorious.
Now I just seem to go with the flow and let my commute happen.  It takes relatively the same amount of time to get to and from work each day, so I just need to accept that time and make it as good as I can get it.

I get into work way less stressed out and angry, and it helps set a more positive tone for the day. I highly suggest doing this if you're looking for a change. I save the upbeat music for my commute home. :)

The bigger issue in my life stems from closing our journey with IVF and battling infertility, is my purpose. Granted, I do realize this isn't something that you just FIGURE OUT overnight, but I realized that perhaps I need to change things up a bit to feel more connected to my passions and dreams and home life.

I know I sound utterly cryptic...because, well...to be honest, it's terrifying to me.
To know in my heart I need to take this next step, is in constant battle with my sensible brain.
It's a hit on one of my biggest securities.
I plan to spend the next few months or so, solidifying my game plan and making sure I can do what my heart says I need to do.

I keep visualizing and longing for little things here and there, and it seems silly to keep putting them on the back-burner. Mark and I have always been those types of people to not "save all the good stuff" for retirement. We strive to live a more balanced life where we continue to save for the future, while simultaneously doing some of the bigger stuff now...while we are younger and have more energy.

We tend to walk a fine line of live in the moment vs. let's wait a while.

I think I'm in a good place to make some "crazy" changes. When everything comes to fruition it will likely be laughed at because it's really not that big of a deal. But I can assure you, to me, it's a huge deal.

I'm ready.

Yes, indeed. Keep the faith, my friends. XO