It's Friday Y'all

Happy Friday Everyone!

How cute is this damn cat! He goes in for xrays on Monday and we have all our fingers crossed his cast comes off very soon!!

I cannot tell you how thrilled I am that this week is wrapping up! Not that I am wishing time away, it was just so damn cold out and the days were jam-packed with hustling here and there.
Bring on the weekend and some down time!

I think the aspect of changing your thinking for a more positive, fulfilled life is a constant, ongoing practice, especially when it may not come naturally.

My husband is constantly a glass-half full, overly optimistic, let-the-little things slide off his back type of guy.  Whereas I am heavy on the emotions and sometimes get too wrapped up in my own thoughts.

I had a few moments where grief came back into my world.
As you know, grief never goes away completely. It showed its face a couple times in the last few weeks, and, having been down this road many, many times in the past, I knew that I needed to define it, realize it is grief, and sit and talk with it for a while.

I still carry my grief every day, but these days it's in a very manageable fanny pack as opposed to the oppressing wet blanket it used to be.

I am constantly practicing gratitude and alternative thinking to help make life that much sweeter.
Because it really is so, so good, right?
Even in the bad, there are lessons to be learned and progress to make to better ourselves.

I am reminded of this almost daily.

Like when I pulled my back out a bit from over-doing it with rowing at Orangetheory.
I used it as an opportunity to give myself a little more TLC in the stretching department and scaled back the intensity in my workouts. I won't be getting a gold metal any time soon, so I really do need to chill a bit.

Or when I invited my Dad over to spend some quality time with me this weekend...no strings attached. Unfortunately, he is in a bit of a mental slump right now and although my efforts were to try and help him be a bit more productive, when he said no, I immediately felt hurt because my gut reaction was he didn't want to see me.

But I know his mental state is off right now, and I am well-versed in anxiety and mental issues these days since I deal with it myself.

I then realized, okay...not this week. It's him, not me.
It's okay to fail, and him saying no isn't a reflection of him not loving me or not wanting to be around me. He has some mental issues to work through and isn't ready to tackle life in a normal-fashion yet.
Maybe next week.

What I can do in return is continue to love him and accept that he isn't being intentional.
Mental issues will do that to a person and it honestly takes another person with mental issues to understand that. Most people with normal chemical balances in their brains can't even comprehend some of the weird shit we do.

And that's okay too.

We're all trying our best here.

There will always be a super excited puppy that acts like every time I walk in the door is the first time we have ever met and that fills my heart with joy!

What HAS been consuming my brain recently is the fun little details of our bathroom. I know I keep hinting about it but not showing you anything. I am so far from one of those HGTV weekend over-haul renovations, it's insane.
I like to take my time with updates, get a feel for the space, decide if I like how it's arranged, and tweak things here and there until it's exactly how I like it.

I ordered a few more things and I promise, as soon as it's done I will do a whole blog post and a Youtube video about it! I love the breath of fresh air this room gives me now.

We have been using the bathroom again for nearly a week and it has been glorious!!

Speaking of Youtube, Episode 7 aired early this week. Here it is if you missed it!


If you haven't subscribed yet, I highly suggest you do.

How do you subscribe, you ask?

There are two ways. At the end of every episode, my face pops up, click my face and it'll let you subscribe that way!

OR!

Simply click the link HERE, and push the red SUBSCRIBE button.
This will give you the first look at new episodes as they appear, straight to you email inbox!

I always try to link new episode's, but there will be some fun ones that only subscribers will know about! So make sure you're on the list!!

And finally, in case you were wondering what was slathered all me and my dog's face in my last post, I made us face masks with bentonite clay and activated charcoal.

The combination of the two ingredients helps with bulldog face folds and skins issues related to their obsessive licking and drooling problems.

To make a batch, stir up the following: (ps - a little goes a LOOOONG way)

1/8 cup Bentonite Clay
3 tbsp Activated Charcoal 
water to make into a soupy paste
Plastic or Wood fork (no metal, per the clay instructions)

This is messy to work with, so I highly suggest adding water and mixing in a utility sink.

I applied to the dog's face and paws using a 1" paint brush and made him sit in the tub for 15 minutes. He was not thrilled and did jump out at one point and run around my newly renovated bathroom until I was able to pin him down and throw him back in the tub.

I would also suggest lining the entire room with towels if putting this on a dog, in case things get out of hand.

Don't say I didn't warn you. :)

I plan to apply this to Burn's face and paws twice a month until summer. I have noticed that when the season's change is when his skin acts up the most.

Oh, and by the way, Mark and I have been obsessed with Orange is the New Black on Netflix.
I know we are like....five years behind. But it is SO. GOOD.

That's it for my week! Have a good weekend! XO

Hello? Is it Me You're Looking For?

Oh hey there.
I took an unexpected hiatus in the last week between the blog, Youtube, and social media in general.

Why you ask?

Because I was busy conducting a tandem spa day for myself and my massive dog.

he was thrilled

No but seriously, we all know that post vaca, you tend to have a decent amount of catch-up to do at work, or around the house.

And I totally did.

But more importantly, you may remember I mentioned on Instagram that I believed I was having a drug eruption from upping my Lexapro, so I did the most logical thing I could think of and that was to lower it back down to 5mg.

I wanted to see if my irritated, peeling skin condition was due to the medication.
After a couple of weeks of the lowered dosage, I realized there is a reason why I am taking 7.5mg....because in the last week of so, my head started spinning again.

Nothing crazy like before, when I was completely un-medicated and had panic attacks while driving and double vision and all that fun stuff.

I just became extremely hyper like I used to be, and incredibly focused on one thing at a time. It started to become tough to make decisions and I had a hard time falling asleep because my mind was constantly racing.

Although it was nice to have a bit of my old (extreme) energy back, I realized that I really do enjoy a calmer mind. So I bit the bullet again and started back on my normal dosage.

We will see if my skin problems re-occur. They could have easily been a reaction to my face wash.
Perhaps the ingredients changed, or maybe the winter dryness wreaked havoc.

I was using Shea Moisture brand's Rose Oil Complex on the majority of my face, and the Grapeseed Oil Cream Cleanser around my eyes for many months. This was always followed by Shea Moisture Peace Rose face cream. It always did wonders for my skin, but perhaps my skin just became too dry during these winter months and I needed something different.

I ended up being gifted a bar of activated charcoal face soap and switched up my face cream to Seaweed Brand Night Therapy and that seemed to completely knock out my skin issues.

If I ever have a patch of drier skin, I still apply A&D cream to the area.

May not be the sexiest combo, but it sure as Hell works!

PS - I was visiting friends after my skin cleared up late last week, and everyone kept raving that it looked like I got a chemical peel because my face was so smooth!! Haha!! 
So basically my shitty allergic skin reaction that caused my entire face to peel for a month yielded baby smooth skin!! I guess that's the silver lining, right?

What else is new?

If you missed Episode 6 on my Youtube Channel, you can watch it here!!

Please comment and subscribe! I am just in love with the connections I am making through this new outlet. It makes my heart sing to hear about your lives as well!!


I am thisclose to being finished with the bathroom. My mom and I spent a good chunk of Sunday picking out accessories for the space. Who knew it was so difficult to make a decision about a cotton ball container?!

Here is a tiny sneak peek to keep you interested...

As soon as I get some prints mounted and some good lighting, I will be photographing the space and giving you all the details! Stay tuned for that post!

Our cat is doing so well with his broken leg recovery. He prefers to hop way up onto my bed and soak up the sun whenever he can. He is truly my little hero.
We are all eager to get him out of that splint!

I am currently recording a new Youtube video that will air later this week.
The topic will be hard moments vs. hard days and how changing our thinking as to how our days are shaped can help our overall positive perspective with life.

I had a shitty moment this week that could have easily swallowed me up and made me believe that meant I had an entirely shitty day, but by extending grace to myself, allowing the shameful emotion to live with me and then move forward, I was able to see all the other wonderful stuff that filled every other moment of that same day.

Stay tuned, friends! Hope you have a good one! XO

The Good This Week

Hello and Happy Friday!

Life was rather chaotic at home this week but I am always striving to find the good in each day and share it with you!

Here is what went on this week:

1. My skin has always been sensitive to harsh chemicals, weather, allergies, you name it. This week it showed it's ugly side and my eyelids, under-eyes, and nose completely started to swell, become irritated, peel and flake.

It was really sexy.

I started my home-remedy by eliminating my old concealer and banishing the new mascara from my daily routine (I don't know if they were the culprit, but they were the only two glaringly obvious changes that were made in the last week or so). I stopped using make-up on my eyes as much as possible and layered on the face cream.

When that didn't stop me from looking like an old, peeling, lady, I bought two new, and maybe weird options, Gold Bond Eczema Hand Cream and A&D Ointment. Yes, the diaper rash stuff.

But I'll tell you what....they did the trick! My eyes are almost back to normal and will hopefully stay that way!

2. I dressed up my office computer background with this beautiful image. Feel free to do the same!

Image via DesignLoveFest

3. Need a little inspiration to make your days better? This post has 50 ways that give me all the warm and fuzzy feelings.

One suggestion was to light a candle while getting ready in the morning. I don't know why I have never implemented this! (probably because I'm always racing at the speed of light to get out the door and this would be helpful to slow my ass down and enjoy the morning more)

4. I have been listening intently to the Life Coach School podcasts each day. This one in particular really resonated with me this week.

I highly suggest listening to her episodes from the beginning. They may not all be applicable to your life but there is definitely a lot of feel-good information to hear!

5. Our dog and cat got into a scuffle on Monday, and although that event was awful and the cat ended up with a broken leg (in two spots!), a couple beautiful moments happened afterward.
First, the cat had a splint exam at the vet on Valentine's Day, and the nurses cut out heart-shaped wrap pieces to give his splint a little flair. Second, Mark came up with the genius idea to lower his bed to just a mattress, that would allow the cat to hobble in and out so he can rest where he is most comfortable. Talk about cuteness overload!!

6. We filed our taxes and signed a new tenant to our rental!

A HUGE exciting sigh of relief in the financial-squeeze department. There is still much work to be done, but I have been waiting for these two thorns in my side to go away for nearly six months now!

7. I made a couple more Episodes on my YouTube Channel! (bear with my experimentation with editing and framing, I'm still learning a lot about what works and what doesn't!)

In case you missed them, I discuss the idea of changing your mindset in the face of uncertainty during IVF. These episodes can easily translate into nearly every obstacle you face outside of infertility as well!

 

If you love watching, I would be eternally grateful if you subscribed and/or shared my work with your friends and family. We need more good in the world and I am happy to lend a helping hand!

Oh, and please talk with me! Comment here, email me, dm me on Instagram, and comment on the YouTube channel. I want to hear from you and get your insights and feedback about these topics!!

So that's all for this week! Thank you for reading and following along! XO

This Week

...I traded squeaky clean hair for another 20 minutes of play with my pup. On a never-ending quest these days to spend more time in-the-moment and less time multi-tasking, I pressed pause at one of my favorite daily routines that makes me immensely happy. I will take all the extra time with that fat sausage I can get.

...I started a Gratitude Journal. One small $5 splurge for a cute notebook and gold pen have inspired a quick re-cap of all the little things that went RIGHT and made me HAPPY that day. There is gratitude to be had with even the trying moments (HELLO hour-long commute in the snow...but HELL YES to more inspirational podcast time) and I am diligently working to change my perspective.

...my progesterone is high, which means I am eating and peeing at an alarming pace. (thank you, infertility, for shedding light on the different phases of my menstrual cycle and lovely hormones to follow)

...I pushed myself in the gym and therefore am making more time outside the gym to stretch and give myself grace. My muscles ache and my stomach is rumbling, so I am literally and figuratively feeding both. Extra stretching, Epsom salt soaks, and clean eating are the way to my heart each day.

...I am reveling in my capable hands and swift knack for budgeting to get us through the final hurdle to some home and financial projects. Stress comes in swiftly but I keep re-focusing my attention to one step at a time, instead of all-at-once.

...I made a few on-the-rocks pina-colada's and it reminded me just how much fun summer is, and that our little getaway is just around the corner.

...I did our taxes. Although the IRS needs to get their shit together so I can actually file, they are done, and soon our credit card debt will be a thing of the past. Cue a sigh of relief (and maybe another pina?)

...we had more sunlight than past weeks, and I took a billion of sunrise photos out of sheer excitement.

...I took time for myself to change my perspective with how my current season of life is going. Instead of constantly longing for the bigger-better thing, I need to really start appreciating how good things are now. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but we really have come a long way with our home lives and careers, and these really are the good-old-days that I'll look back on with a warm-rosy glow, right?

...I became a YouTube vlogger!! (video-blogger). There are currently two episodes up. The first one was linked in my last post, and below is the second!  Please feel free to comment, interact, subscribe, ..whatever you feel like doing! This platform is meant for you to get my real emotions and thoughts on these subjects like infertility and happiness, and in turn, you should know I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and opinions too! My goal is to create community with these posts and I think this is an excellent way to do so!


...and finally, I braved the first major winter snow storm this year, headed into the office and brought Burn!! You have no idea what having him around does for my happiness!!

What made you happy this week? Anything inspire you?
Cheers to the freakin' weekend! XO

Winging it Wednesday: I Started a YouTube Channel

So you guys.....can I tell you something?

Although this may not be shocking to most....I have SO MANY thoughts and opinions and ideas running through my head.

Like...all the time.

And a lot of time I get really inspired and want to tell you all about it, but then I go to write everything down on the blog and I literally cannot type as fast as my brain wants to go, then it gets all jumbled up because I keep skipping over thoughts and none of it makes sense, and then I don't want to fix all my grammatical issues so I just push delete and stew in frustration.

Anyone else? Bueller?

So then I thought....what if I recorded myself?

I found out something interesting at the end of 2017....you guys are sort of obsessed with my face.
And not in like a stalkerish way. (although, that may actually be true, and if it is...please do not reveal yourself so that I don't have nightmares for eternity)

But a lot of the positive feedback, yielding the most responses, is when you guys actually SEE me.

So then I thought...well what the fuck...let's give them what they want then!

I think a Youtube channel may be the way to go.
That way I can give you all the little thoughts and emotions and real, honest opinions, and hell, maybe even ADVICE about life...in a real and raw way...one that isn't necessarily filtered in a blog with a pretty picture slapped on it.

Not that I will halt blogging, I just think that a writing format isn't exactly giving me the platform I need to express how I really am. Which, by the way, translates into I am bat shit crazy...so it may just be entertaining to watch the train wreck unfold?

OH! And you know what else I want to do?
Drag Mark into it, sometimes.
I LOVE him, and he is hilarious on camera. And I think you do too, right? We are both literally insane in our own ways, and I thought it would be awesome to feature us as a duo here and there.

I am really just winging all of this. Waiting to have a fully hashed out plan has never been my forte.
So here we go! Episode One, below! (and yes, I'll work to use "um" less as I get more comfortable)