But I'm awake.
Clenching my fists. My whole body is tense and tight.
I am replaying the course of events over and over, thinking, "Does she even know how rude that was?"
The reality is no. She probably doesn't.
I sigh more loudly than I intended. Resolve to let go. Move on. Clear my head.
It's not doing me any good and the alarm clock will be shocking me awake in less time than I had hoped.
Why should I lose any more sleep?
This night time struggle is one that I deal with often.
Getting worked up over a shitty situation and allowing it to ruin my mood.
It's not healthy and I have been working diligently to erase it as a part of my personality.
I just want to Namaste, mother fucker!
But I can't. Not that easily.
Whatever happened. It hurt. And I can't just get over it.
But I'm trying.
Slow, deep breaths, like they taught me in yoga. Breathe in the good life and breathe out the pain.
Let go of the bad.
Allow the negative thoughts to enter my conscious, but remind them they are not allowed to stay.
Release the tension. Un-clench my hands, melt slowly into the bed.
It isn't the first and it won't be the last time shit happens.
Life happens.
A fight with your husband.
You get reamed out by your boss.
Your child or pet destroys something.
A friend doesn't act like a friend.
It happens.
And I can choose to act like a confrontational bitch and lash out.
But taking a queue from the past, it doesn't end well.
Or, I can channel my inner Zen Warrior that I know is in there somewhere, and, repeat after me...
Namaste, Mother Fucker.
Didn't this put a smile on your face? |
Don't let it ruin your day.
I need to find some namaste myself. Currently, mine is in the form of anti-anxiety meds and beer. :-)
ReplyDeleteMeds usually make everything better! ahhhhh....I hear ya Tia....hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI know it's cliche, but this is exactly what I needed to hear today. Exactly. I've been letting a situation from the past cloud my mind lately, but I just need to let. it. go. Nothing a case of Bud Light and a girls night can't fix! :)
ReplyDeleteHope everything is ok! The pic made me laugh...!
ReplyDeleteThis is something that I have been working on my whole life... Only in the last year have I been able to let go and start living a much happier life!!!
ReplyDeleteI always tell my husband "but *I* would feel better if I chewed their ass!" Then he reminds it won't make the situation better or go away. Ugh, ok he's right. But damn, just to chew some ass once would be nice! Hope you are feeling better about it today!
ReplyDelete