Keep on dreamin.....

Good morning world.  3 days of straight up snow and grossness and I actually grunted out loud because my mascara was smearing into my eyes from the horizontal Chicago wind.

I'm over it.

Calgon, Take Me Away!

I got an e-mail from Expedia today. Normally I delete these but something compelled me to check out their special this week entitled: "50% off Beach Vacation"

So I did.

Chris Hemsworth may or may not be my secret baby daddy....oh, and speculation about baby toys

I was scrolling through Pinterest on my way to work yesterday when I came across of the beef-bag Chris Hemsworth holding, ever so sweetly, his itty bitty wee darling baby, in his uber large, sessy man arms.  HOLY. SHIT.

I don't like blondes, or overly huge muscles....but sweet Jebus.....this was just too much.  My uterus quaked just gazing at this beautiful picture.  Oh..and his wife was included in the picture too.  But no worries, my friends, with the help of my BFF Photoshop, I "fixed" the picture to how it was supposed to look.

Feast your eyes......

It's UterUS, not UterYOU!

Alright uterus....let's have a quick pep talk shall we?  Bayou has been holding up his end of the deal, but I think you have been slacking....so it's time to lady up, m'kay?

We be shoppin'

Bayou said he needed pants because he wore his last pair of "good" pants to work and splattered paint all over them.  Good pants are defined, per Bayou, as the pants that cut off the circulation to his balls.  Apparently gross, super sagging carpenters jeans with too many pockets, that are ill-fitting = socially acceptable pants in Bayou's eyes, and pants actually fit his small man ass = ball smashing goodness.  I also didn't realize he had elephantiasis, but I digress.

Pink is my Favorite Flavor

Happy VD everyone.

In celebration of the ridiculous holiday, Bayou and I decided not to purchase a bunch of crap for each other.  It puts too much pressure on me, plus it falls in the middle of the week when I have 0 time to actually figure something out.  Plus I'm we're cheap.  Plus it's un-necessary for the most part.

Negative...just pee sticks, not my attitude anymore

You know what happens when you freak out on the interwebs about how much waiting sucks and then pray supah dupah hard about pleasepleaseplease make me see two lines?

Waiting sucks

Hey.....just writing to vent real quick.  This is not a fun post. Sorry. You may not want to read as I am probably going drop a big deuce on your Friday.

I don't know how I keep jobs....

Apparently I put on two articles of clothing this morning that I forgot itch the hell out of my skin.
My sessy brar and fancy blouse.

Pot pies, strippers and airbrushing....don't attempt together

Hey hey hey!

Today is a random Tuesday post.  There have been a million few not so fun things I have been dealing with in my life that I figured I would counter the bad stuff with some lighter stuff and maybe they would just cancel each other out.

I see padded walls in my future

Einstein defined insanity as performing the same tasks over and over again and expecting different results.

I must be insane.

I believe this because I say the same sentences over and over, each day, to my dogs, and expect them to actually A) Listen to me, or B) stop doing whatever stupid thing they are doing and never do it again.

Neither ever happens.

Ever.

Time to cut the cord....again

I tend to become overly slightly obsessed with things from time to time that it feels like it is consuming me to the point where I can't focus on anything else.  Unfortunately, I am realizing that this type of undiagnosed mental illness actually runs in my family.  At least on my father's side it does. Phew!
That makes me feel a lot better.  We are just a whole family of whackos and I'm not the only special one. We get so tied up in something, trying to take the reins and make sure whatever it is happens a certain way, that we lose sight of the bigger picture...LIFE.  I tend to get sucked into this black hole of obsession of whatever topic it is in that moment and other things start to slide or fail along the way.  Not good.