Dirty Santa Done Dirt Cheap

Let's hop on a more-fun note today. Sound good?

I bring you...my Dirty Santa gift guide.

Every year I scour Amazon for the funniest gifts since our family partakes in this annual Christmas Tradition. Give one of these at the next White Elephant party and you're sure to get a laugh!!

Dad Bod Fanny Pack // The Leg Nightlight // Grow the Fuck Up Book // Wine Bottle Glass // Freshmen Survival Guide // Lady Porn Coasters // Adult Coloring Book

Dad Bods: They are all the rage these days. Get the look AND function of holding your flip-phone, receipts, and post-it notes with this attractive fanny pack! 

Who can forget THE LEG lamp from Christmas Story? Give the miniature version for someone to look at every time they get up in the middle of the night to pee!

Know someone in the family that hasn't quite figure out how to adult yet? Want to passive aggressively stick it to 'em? This book is for them. It's actually super informative and easy to read and maybe they can get their head out of their ass long enough to skim through a couple chapters. 

I just love a wine goblet big enough for those rough weeks. Grab this glass and throw in a box of the finest Franzia for that crazy aunt of yours!

Any seniors heading off to college? This funny and witty guide helps keeps them in check and reminds them about things like...No, Dorito's actually AREN'T a food group.

You know those Ryan Gossling meme's you see floating around everywhere? These are just as good, but they are COASTERS. No rings on the counter from a cold beer already has me hot and bothered. They say things like, "here, let me fold the laundry for you."  Did you just cream your panties a little?! ME TOO. 

Finally, a good old fashioned adult coloring book. Politely tell someone to fuck off by gifting this one to them. Or do what I'm going to do and buy it yourself to vent some frustrations while guzzling a bottle, I mean, a glass of wine. 

Cheers, folks! XO

Dirty Christmas

Every year I host a family Christmas party to get my side of the family together.
There doesn't seem to be a month that goes by where we don't have an event with Mark's side, but my family is more spread out and it seems harder to gather everyone in one place.

And since my family is basically the Original Goldberg's, I try to keep the party as classy and sophisticated as possible.

We dress up in the our most fabulous light-up Christmas gear, festive sweaters, and Santa hats, snack on Ritz and Easy Cheese, lil' smokies, and other variety of expensive fair, and play a sentimental game called:

DIRTY CHRISTMAS (also known as White Elephant)

Last year Mark "won" a glass chicken lamp, and I ended up with a random strand of half-working Christmas lights.
I should also add that Mark actually uses that sassy lamp in the garage to this day.

The name of the game is to find a gift for under $20 that really speaks to your soul.
A gift that you can't wait to see the reaction as they open it.
Just make sure grandma doesn't steal your gift or you may have to take her out.
Santa isn't watching this evening....so be bad!

And in case you are heading out or hosting your own little Dirty Christmas soiree, I hand-picked some of the best gifts money can buy that can be delivered to your door for that special someone.

Enjoy!