I'm getting antsy

In early January, Mark and I found out we were a genetic match for a mutation that could immediately terminate the life of our baby. So with that gut punch, we put the kibosh on "seeing how things go" and accepted our fate that we would be paying for a baby.
Knowing that IVF with PGD is a lot of money, we needed a new game plan. In short, we decided to wait.

To say this change of perspective was different was an understatement.
It was freeing.
For four years we wished and timed and hoped and prayed and waited and cycled through every emotion imaginable. I lived my life in 25 day increments. In the meantime, life sorta passed us by.
Sure, I still remember the good and bad memories, but those four years are sort of fuzzy.
Fuzzy in a way where we just realized our English bulldog will be turning FOUR this July and I just can't believe we have had him this long.

So, we decided to put the whole thing off for two years. In two years we were going to redo our kitchen, buy a sensible car and get Mark his dream boat. And then get a baby.
In two years.
And of course I'm all, "I did the budget! We can totally do this!" But dudes, that's a looonnngggg time away. And who knows how many other hurdles may come in between now and then? The baby timeline could get pushed back dramatically because there's always something else.

The first change in the two year timeline was to put a temporary hold on the kitchen. Instead, we could save our tax return money until we have enough for the renovation and not have worry about the month to month savings for that particular item.

But then there is our insurance.
Although I am extremely grateful to have found this company and have such a great job so quickly after I was let go, our insurance is what they call "self-funded."
And in Illinois, even though we have a glorious new mandate that a woman can receive infertility and IVF coverage at no cost, some plans are exempt from the rule.
And that is where the self-funded insurance comes into play.
They don't have to cover it.
And in a office of 99% dudes and me? Oh yea, they won't be changing that any time soon.

Enter Obamacare.
After doing some research, I learned that I can purchase my own insurance that covers all these wonderful IVF fees, essentially reducing our costs from $25K to $5-$8K.
Open enrollment starts November '15 and my insurance renewal is up in December '15. It's the perfect transition.

Because I just can't wait anymore. Here I am reading baby blogs and following baby companies on Instagram and dreaming about our nursery...and still trying to put it off for two years?
I can't.
Not when I have started going off the crazy train and filling up a cute little turquoise and gold dot box with baby items. I should also mention that I have a strangely insane pull that our first will be a girl.

The new timeline is to get insurance coverage at the end of the year and start out consultations for IVF early 2016. By this time next year we should be rocking and rolling with whatever the first steps of an IVF protocol are.

It will finally be happening. We are staying optimistic that there won't be any additional hurdles in our way.  I have the rest of this summer to and next to prep, and come early Fall we will hopefully be making a much anticipated, exciting announcement.

I'm so excited!
Thank you for reading!

Keep your fat pants

You know how sometimes men make comments, that in their head are well-meaning, but you obviously take offense because men are dumb and insensitive?

Now, a little backstory because I don't want to paint the wrong picture.

Mark and I were talking about summer and he complimented me on my "new style", which I am going to call boho-minimalist. It has taken me a few years to figure out exactly what I love about fashion and what looks the best on me and what I am most comfortable in.

What I love about fashion these days are the flowy, feminine pieces, like a kimono, combined with figure-flattering skinny pants.  Or a long lace cover-up over a bright bikini.  You get the picture.
I feel like these pieces look best on me.

Honestly, with all the working out I have been doing, I feel most comfortable in most things. Sure, there are certain pieces I can't wear because my waist isn't long enough or my booty is to big (not really an issue in my mind, but you can't rock certain pants because of "the gap" from booty to back), but in general, I wear what I want.

I have been more adventurous in my clothing choices recently and it's because I feel great.
I feel great with the shape of my body.
I feel great with my make-up choices and I feel great with coming to peace with my semi-wavy hair
(Stopping the constant straightening has given me more time and more sanity)

But then he casually mentioned that even though things are rocking now, I should keep the "fat pants", because, you know...winter. He meant well, and at the time, I totally agreed.
I DO get fluffy in the winter. Never fat. Just more....relaxed.
Every year I go from semi-fluffy to semi-toned, never really maxing out anything.

But I woke up this morning and thought....WHY can't I just go all out and keep feeling exactly how I feel right now? And maybe even better? What's stopping me?

Is it because during the winter months, there isn't as many opportunities to "dress cute" so you just give up?
Is winter food REALLY that much more fattening when I basically drink my weight in alcohol over the summer?
Is it REALLY that hard to just get up in the pitch black mornings to schlep to the gym?
(OK, that one is kind of tough. Sunshine does wonders for motivation)

So I'm calling it, right here, right now.
2015 will be the last of seasonal weight loss and weight gain. No more losing the fluff until I have a reason to (ie....getting knocked up).
There is nothing holding me back so I just need to do it.
Even when I don't want to.

And for the record, I'm keeping the "fat pants".  Because I'm sure I'll need them in the future when a baby-belly starts to take over and I'm too cheap to dump money into maternity clothes right off the bat.

What are your fitness goals for this summer? And how do they translate into the cooler months?
How do you stay motivated?

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

Nine trends I won't follow

There are so many G.D. trends these days.
What's old is new again.
The hipster revival.
Craft beer.
High-waisted butt cheek shorts (or as I like to call...hooker-chic)
New inventions, new ideas, new thinking
Go Green.

On and on and on (got that Tove Lo song in my head, LOVES it)

HOWEVER!
These are the NINE trends that I will not follow under any circumstance
(unless someone paid me A LOT of money, because, you know, everyone has their price)

OVERALLS

I don't care how much my husband claims that Kelly Kapowski looked super hot with her one-shoulder overall/midriff combination, we cannot go there anymore. That was the 90's. And while I do love me some classic rock hair bands and flannels, this trend needs to stay in the 90's. Unless it goes on little boys...because that is just adorable.

HAREM OR DROP-CROTCH PANTS

Why?! We women should embrace our figures, not try to hide them behind disgusting trends like these. And what exactly are you trying to hide down there? Puhleeze tell me your whisker biscuit flaps don't fill that void. But if they do...then fine, wear 'em. Just stay far, FAR, away from me.

USING THE WORDS "BAE" OR "FLEEK"

Why are we giving props to some fool who got super high and started slurring his words? Are we that lazy that we can't say baby anymore? And what the hell is fleek, and are you supposed to on or under it?
It is a compliment?
Quit trying to make fleek happen. It's not going to happen!

DUBSTEP

I wish I had a crystal ball to see into the future of music. I would have gladly recorded the sounds of a blender and a laptop, cooking in a microwave, then thrown into a pool of water. Gladly.
Why can't people just play REAL instruments and be forced to have the discipline that we had growing up to suffer through years of classes and training and practice? Moving your hand back and forth across a disk does not count...but yet, here we are, dropping the bass to this robotic "music".

FOODS THAT ARE LITE, FAT-FREE, & SUGAR-FREE

Ladies...when a company eliminates the natural sugars and fats found in food, they fill it chemicals and other sugars and fats. You don't just get rid of sugar without adding in something to keep the flavor.

Plus! It makes you more hungry to eat faux food. I used to add EIGHT splenda's in my coffee every morning. EIGHT. And I always wondered why I felt so hungry all morning, even after eating a healthy meal.
After weening myself off that mess, I switched over to 3/4 of a tablespoon of the real stuff. Tastes delicious and is good on my waistline. Eliminating the diet crap eases bloating as well. That crap makes you feel like you have IBS....no bueno.
However, I will drink Bud Light until the day I die...always and forever, Amen.

INTERNET TROLLS

Trolling is the worst. People feel all high and mighty to write something behind the safety of their computer screen, but I highly doubt when face to face they would ever be anything but slightly rude....if that.

My prior company had a whole run-in with a bunch of online comments trying to ruin their reputation. And the geeks that wrote the stuff don't have a spine anyways, so it's not shocking. What is shocking is how foul mouthed people get. Not to mention lack of proper grammar and punctuation, but that's whole other story.
Chances are the people that are trolling other people won't ever meet in real life. You don't know their life and we don't know yours....so back the F off.

CHARACTER HATS

Unless you are a tween or a raver....step off this trend. (If you are a raver...get a job). I used to see grown ass women wearing cheetah hats in the dead of  winter to WORK.
IN A PROFESSIONAL SETTING. You are not cute, you are crazy.

TWITTER

I will never be a twat on Twitter. No one actually reads that shit, right? As far as I'm concerned, it's only good for news and breaking events.....not your witty one-liners and feuds. People have got to get a grip with technology. And shocking...you can get the SAME news and events on the internets.
Magic.

SOCKS WITH SHOES

Uh uh. Nope. Never. You got made fun of growing up if you wore your tube socks with your sandals, and the same holds true today. Gramps is the only one allowed to even consider it. Be a grown up lady and cut that shit out.


So tell me, what trends will you never, ever get together with?
Happy hump day folks!

Staying Fit: When you're feeling down, take a photo

Over the weekend I was feeling a bit fluffy. Nothing major, but I was starting to get frustrated with my progress. Part of me knows that any progress I do have is slowed by my love for alcohol mixed with warm summer days, but for the most part, I do really good with eating cleaning and managing my weight.
Also I was starving. All day every day. And I felt like all I was doing was eating.

One major thing I learned? Food prep is key. Although I had enough odds and ends lying around, we didn't have any good rice or quinoa, so I had to resort to white rice.
Um....no. That ish is garbage and is likely the culprit I was so hungry all the time.
I truly believe carbs AREN'T the devil...but those suckers ARE. I wanted a milkshake and twice as much lunch every. single. afternoon. (I didn't have the milkshake, luckily)

I was also getting frustrated that although I am lifting heavier and more often, the definition I desire just isn't there yet. I honestly don't know if I will EVER have that type of definition, because I won't supplement.
Sure, I use a scoop of protein powder here and there, but I strive to make my main source of protein through natural, real, food.
I feel like I'm getting bigger, physically, but not getting any closer to those carved muscles.  How much body fat do I have to lose to do that?

Anyways, as I ranted over social media, and then promptly deleted it, I realized maybe I AM making strives, but maybe they are small.  Much smaller than someone would notice without doing what we bloggers do best....document the shit out of something.

So here are my progress photos in one month.
Are they drastically different? Hell no. But it's going in the right direction.

In the back photos, I notice a change in two things: smaller love handles and stronger back muscles.

In the front photos, I notice more defined arms. Abs are kind of the same, but my hips seems smaller.

And in the side? Booty. More lifted and curvy.  And there maybe a tiny oblique pushing out in the June photo. Slightly smaller love handles and what not.

So there you have it. This is real life with real struggles and real (tiny) gains.

Last week I only did four days of HIIT sprints on the treadmill and decided to change it up this week.
No more treadmill for a while. Instead, I am doing plyometric cardio for 60 seconds between weight sets.
And adding in jabs, uppercuts, and hooks with 3lb weights. It helps tighten up arms, back and abs.
The change with weight lifting will be focusing on either upper body or lower body, not a combo anymore.
I want to keep this up for another month and see where I'm at.

Thanks for reading!!

Life is 80 Summers

I have been a stellar blog reader this summer.
Not so good in the commenting department.
But, I feel a bit better because I think I'm actually "on trend" with the lack of comments.
I love catching up with the blogs I read on a weekly basis, but for some reason, I just haven't been commenting as much.  I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that when I read blogs on Bloglovin', I'm not signed in with the right Google account and it's a whole process to re-type the comment after I figure out how to sign in on my phone.

Or maybe I'm just lazy.
Or distracted, because that amazing warm sun is blinding me with it's love.
Let's go with that.

I really only read blogs if I have a few minutes at work.
That's actually when I do my own blogging as well.

Once the clock hits 5pm I am bolting out the door to rush home and soak up the summertime fun.
And not blogging or reading blogs. Especially not on the weekends unless the weather is shitty.

Summer is all we Chicagoans have to look forward to. Winter is so bad that all we want to do is GET. OUT. SIDE. always and forever once the temps rise above 60 (Hell, I've been known to jump into cutoffs the second it hits 50. Judge all you want)
I want to sit outside, run outside, talk outside, eat outside, DO ALL THE THINGS OUTSIDE.
I will wake up as giddy as a kid on Christmas when it's sunny by 6am and WARM.
Oh. So. Warm.
My maniac husband once said a little phrase that struck a chord with myself and friends alike:

And it's so true. Heading into year 32, I have already managed to fly through 1/3 of those years.
We must treasure how awesome these 12 weeks are because it's over in a blink of an eye.

Please bear with me. You can probably check your stats to realize there are many people reading but not many people commenting. Don't feel like you are a loser and no one likes your blog.
People are just being lazy, like me.
If I have ever commented on your blog, I can promise you I am still reading.
If I have never commented, drop your blog link in the comments and tell me what I'm missing! I love reading new stuff!

However, being totally honest, I won't read the sponsored posts. The second I see that word I hit "mark as read."  I really don't care that Tide gave you some free shit and now you "love your laundry even more!"
No one loves laundry. You aren't fooling anyone, m'kay?

So keep the blog posts coming. The real ones.
I want to see your fun photos and crazy summer shenanigans and baby bumps and drunk stories!
Now go do something amazing this weekend and report back next week!

Happy Friday!!

Because we worked for it

I was reading Lindsay's blog post last week and it got me thinking about a conversation I had recently.
Mark and I were sitting on our porch one afternoon, basking in all the glories of a warm summer evening, sipping drinks and chatting about things. Nothing in particular, just stuff going on in our lives, opinions on things...nonsense really.

And he goes, "I always hate having to find an excuse about the house. People will come over and make a statement about the size or layout of our home (in a good way) and I immediately feel like I have to have an excuse about why we have it. So I always use the excuse that you have a good job."
Disclaimer: I am about to flip out in this post. 

.....what.

I DO have a good job. But why does that have to be an "excuse?" He has just as good of a job as me...so why does it always have to be pawned off on each other like we're not good enough to own this home we live in. Like it's a big ruse and maybe someone handed us that money?
Why can't we just be proud of the seed we have sewn?

(No one has ever given us a dime, for the record. Ever. We earned everything ourselves without handouts.)

So I got all pissed off about that statement and told him I'm done with feeling like we have to dumb ourselves down or lower our standards or "fit in" with whoever we are talking to so they don't judge us.
They are supposed to be our friends and family. They wouldn't, and shouldn't, judge us.
And if they do? They can go fuck themselves.

Because you know what? Everything we own has come down to two major things in our lifestyle.
Motivation and lack of kids (and maybe a little bit of luck). That's it.

Those two (major) things have set us apart from the droves of people that can only dream of things like this. And it's not to say we are better than anyone. We aren't. Our shit smells to high Heaven. But it is so very true that having kids early, before your career has taken off, can put some items considered "luxuries" on the back burner for the time being.
It's not the case for everyone, but it is for most of America.

This Halloween signifies ten years of us being together. And for many, many of those years, the idea of having kids wasn't appealing to us at all.
But these days our sights have shifted, and the idea of bringing a baby into this world is rather exciting. I look forward to the day I can hold a mini G in my arms.
Kids are extremely expensive. Everyone knows that. And since we didn't have kids early in our relationship, we filled our time and our wants and needs as we deemed necessary.
It's nothing I feel that we have to apologize for. It just was what it was.
We have more "extra" income here and there, because all of our extra funds aren't allocated to our baby.
In the future? Sure....that will absolutely happen. But not today.

Mark and I are some of the most driven people we know, in all aspects of life. No, we aren't CEO's of major million dollar companies, but we are highly motivated, in our personal and professional lives, to do the very best we can.

I choose to make my job as fulfilling and lucrative as possible for myself and our livelihood, and won't settle for mediocre. This means negotiating salaries and finding ways to be an asset to my company by going the extra step and finding solutions. Why? Because you don't get ahead by taking a back seat. You fight for your right (to party), then you grab that damn paycheck by the balls and run all the way to the bank.

And our home. OOOHHH our home. Yes, it is beautiful. Yes, it has more land than the average home.
But guess what? It doesn't just look like this all the time on its own.

As shocking as this is going to sound, it takes hours upon hours of work to maintain it. And right now, since we are kid-less, we don't pay to have the maintenance outsourced.
We will cross that hurdle if and when the time comes.

When we get home from work we don't just plop down on the couch and call it a night.
We make an effort every damn day to make sure this place stays in tip top shape.

So Mark does most of the yard. He mows and whacks and trims and prunes and picks his way to that fairway-worthy lawn you see in photos. I plant and water and weed. (and sometimes forget to water)

And the pool. Yes, I do love our pool. I was over the moon excited to find our home and a bonus to know it had a private pool in the backyard. But again, before our friends come over to lounge around and enjoy themselves, what they don't see is that it took anywhere from 1-4 hours to prep that pool to perfection. Between the chemicals, and the measuring, and the skimming, and the draining and the back washing, and the vacuuming (yes, pools get vacuumed), it's a labor of love.
I love hearing the backhanded compliment, "it looks great, but that's going to be a lot of work."
Duh dude. We know this. Thanks. Luckily we aren't asking for your help because it sounds like you'd just complain the whole time. So shut the fuck up and hop in or go home.
But you know what can't be beat? After a hard fucking day of work I can just run and jump into my own damn pool butt naked if I feel like it. part of the reason I work out so much :)

Same goes for the home itself. Although summer time calls for a more relaxed attitude with cleaning in general, there is still dusting and vacuuming and organizing to be done. In every room. Especially those that our guests see.

Our dogs are disgusting. They drool and puke and shit and shed all over the damn place. I love them to pieces but their upkeep is ridiculous. However, I won't let that stop me from having a clean-ish home. You won't smell my dogs in my house. I was hungover as shit last Sunday and still managed to hand shampoo the carpets.

The key to this whole situation is it is worth it to us.
Some people travel with their free time.
Some people have the luxury of getting pregnant without blinking and rear those kids into amazing adults, and that is what they spend their time on.
Every single person should be proud for whatever they feel is most important and shouldn't find an excuse or dumb down what they have to "fit in."
I wouldn't trade our space for an easier lifestyle any day. We are thrilled to have found this gem in such a unique neighborhood (that's the luck part), and are willing to do whatever it takes to keep it as nice as the day we moved in.

So our new motto, when someone gasps at our home and blurts out, "How did YOU guys end up here?"

"Because we worked for it."

And not a word more.

Happy Hump Day, loves.

Day Off

Life is go go go.
Especially when I am working full time away from the house. Between work, home responsibilities and social events, I used to be on the go from sunrise to sundown (and then some) seven days a week but found that I would get sick and bitchy more often.
I have learned that I need downtime. Time to restore my sanity, my health, my everything.
My off day.

And not just a hour here or there. It's a good solid chunk of time dedicated to....nothing, really.

There was always this weird transition from work-week to weekend that would involve a complete mental shut-down. I always thought it was odd considering my husband is the type of guy that can just keep going always and forever, it seems, like one of those damn Energizer bunnies.
Turns out, he gets a power nap every day after work before I get home.
That sounds divine, doesn't it?
Well, I don't really have that much leeway in my day....ever.
So what will happen is I will hit the week hard at 110% and either Saturday or Sunday morning (it ebbs and flows) I will simply not want to leave my pj's for most of the morning.
I really don't know why I fought it for so long.
It truly is glorious.

We don't really sleep in on the weekends. Hell, we hardly burn the midnight oil anymore.
We are day drinkers. Day partiers. Day doers. I like my sunshine.
My alarm goes off at 5:30 on weekdays, but my internal alarm goes off by 7am on weekends.
I try to hit the hay by 9pm on weekdays, and my eyes droop by 10:30 on weekends.
Without really realizing it, we tend to start and end our days roughly the same way seven days a week.
I guess that doesn't exactly make us cool people. Dudes, if that is what it means to be cool....I don't want any part of it. Because dark circles and dry skin are tough to hide, honey, and who likes to waste a glorious weekend day sleeping?
Not this bitch.

But I do need downtime.
Downtime for me looks like this:
After five days of hitting the gym hard, the last thing I want to do on the weekends is continue that trend. Keeping up with the maintenance of our home is a full time job that requires a lot of walking, climbing, lifting, pushing, whatever....it's like my own crossfit gym, I guess.
Box, right? They call those things a box? Well, I guess we have a nice box then :snicker:
Anyways, half of one day we detail clean. I typically spend 15-20 minutes of each week day tidying up, wiping down, putting away of smaller items. Generally reducing clutter to avoid the crazy eyes coming out.
Then people will filter in and we chill and eat and drink and swim.
Or we have plans and leave.
And then half of one day I prep for the next week. Errand running, food prep, laundry, tidying...you know the drill.

And then there is that glorious other half. My ME half.
The half spent in my pj's...watching HGTV, drinking my coffee sllllooooowwww, while the dogs snore on either side of the couch.
The morning I take an extra long shower, buff my feet, shave my knees.
Pluck my eyebrows, re-do the paint on my toe nails.
The morning I stroll around our home, maybe, and just look at things.
The morning I have some snacks, maybe go back to sleep for a tiny bit, but really just don't do anything.
I don't worry about time frames, or the clock, or calories, or to-do lists.
I just sit and zone out.
I catch up on social media and write blog posts if I'm inspired.
It's just enough time to feel refreshed and ready to take on the next round of crazy.
Sometimes it's just a couple of hours, sometimes it's 3/4 of a day.
But whatever it is, it is much needed.

Do you carve out downtime? Do you break it up into multiple days or do one big ass chunk like I do?
What's your favorite me-time ritual?

Thanks for reading, friends!

Burritos, Tequila, and Target

Driving into work today, I was listening to the morning show on Kiss FM and they relayed a recent statistic that the majority of Millennials are spending their hard earned cash on three super important things:

Millennials, by the way, are those youngins born between 1981-1997. Me being born in '83, I feel as though this speaks volumes about my life.

Who doesn't love burritos? Taco Tuesdays are a weekly ritual in my house.
Whenever we don't feel like making dinner, we just hop in the golf cart and hit up the local mexican joint.
Chipotle used to run through my veins.
I used to buy it at least 3 times a week, if not more.
And can we talk about my favorite drunk food? Um...Taco Bell 4 Lyfe.
I heard they are going to start delivering their food so us drunks don't have to get DUI's.
Enter :slow clap:.
Truly amazing.

And obviously drinking goes hand in hand with burritos.
Tequila is all the rage today. I have been dabbling with it's smoky cousin, Mezcal.
How many homemade margarita recipes have you pinned on Pinterest since summer hit?
That's right...all of them. Because you need to look at all of them and then just grab a Lime-a-rita and call it a day. Those things are delicious.
Who can remember sneaking shots of Jose Cuervo when you were in High School and then jumping on a trampoline into the wee hours of the night?
Who can remember doing a "fire wall" of tequila shots at your local college bar and then knocking over a port-a-potty on the way home?
(A fire wall is when you line up shots over a line of alcohol, then light that alcohol on fire at one end and try to do all the shots in a row before you burn your knuckles. Good times.)
When you get super white girl wasted off Chardonnay, what is the one shot you ALWAYS ask for?
That's right....Patron. Even though it's really gross. You do it anyways....because #BallerLifestyle.

And after your body has soaked up all the booze with all the burritos, what's your next move?
Head to Target to "pick up a few things" and leave the store with two shopping carts full of garbage that YOU JUST NEED TO HAVE.
I went to Target last weekend for shampoo and deodorant, and walked out with four bikinis, a romper, a maxi dress, two new bras, some pj's, two cases of alcohol, chips, dip, grilling food, some cute plastic plates and cups for around the pool....and the list goes on. And I forgot the deodorant.

And that fucking dollar area right in the front. OF COURSE you need an America koozie. OF COURSE.

So tell me....do you think the statistic is right? I sure do.
Why waste your money on things like savings and retirement and bills? Those things are for losers.
You are not a loser.
Happy Friday, loves! Have a great weekend!

Nine truths

I love reading truths, or confessions, from fellow bloggers. It kind of makes me feel more connected to the virtual friendship we share. So today, I am telling you nine things that are going on in my life, good and bad.

1. I spend far too much time calculating and budgeting. I have evaluated and reevaluated how we can accomplish some larger financial aspects of our life before baby and keep flip-flopping how we are going to get there and still keep our sanity. In a perfect world, I would be able to set aside X amount each month and then we'd go buy the thing and that would be it. But life happens. And summer is always more expensive than we anticipated, even if we never really go anywhere. And now I "need" a commuter car so I don't have to volley between a '99 TransAm that can't be driven in rain or any sort of weather, and an H2 that doesn't have a working stereo (I know) and gets 2 miles to the gallon. I actually love driving that beast but can't fathom paying for the fill up each week. It's a great first world problem to have, actually. The commuter car will end up being a preemptive child-friendly car so I guess it's a win-win all around.

2. Going along with budgeting....if there is one bill I can't handle it's our Comcast bill. If it were up to me we wouldn't even have cable, let alone a TV in every. damn. room. But I have to compromise with Mark's demands for ALL THE CHANNELS IN ALL THE ROOMS. In doing so, I am on the phone threatening to switch on the daily and trying to lower our bill all the time. I finally purchased our own modem to save that $10 fee and would 100% buy a Cable CARD to eliminate our $20 in HD fees, if only I knew what the hell that was or how to use it. If someone knows please tell me. I think it has something to do with TiVo but what do I know.

3. I have recurring premonitions of walking into the kitchen to find out my frenchie, Crash, has died in his sleep. I know that is super sad. I can't help it. I usually have these thoughts right before I fall asleep and end up sobbing uncontrollably in my pillow to avoid waking Mark. The shitty thing is, is every premonition I have ever had comes true. And they are always about the dogs. I had one about Crash getting hit by a truck at the end of our driveway for years! And last May it actually happened. He is getting older and I know his time with us is far less than it was ten years ago, so maybe I am mentally preparing?

4. Ever since I have switched from working in the city to working in the suburbs, I have been freaking out about gaining a flat, pancake ass because "all I do is sit all day." Or at the very least, I am afraid of this stigma attached with having a suburban job. To an extent, it is true that I sit a lot. But I did that in the city too. The difference is I don't have the 40 minute round-trip walk like I used to. So, to try and offset that lack of movement, I may be overcompensating at the gym. I used to do zero week-day cardio, and now I do a daily HIIT routine that lasts 10-15 minutes.
Plus, one nice perk of where my office is located is we are next to a GE healthcare facility. They have a lovely walking path that winds around their building. Completing the loop twice takes about 20 minutes. (And I just ignore the bold "private property" signs. #IdowhatIwant)

5. I love having more PM energy because I am not tired and sweaty from that very walk I am trying to overcompensate for. In all honesty, it is amazing to just put on the outfit I want to wear to work, complete with hair and makeup, and arrive at work STILL LOOKING THE SAME WAY. And when Mark suggests we do this and that after work, I'm totally game for it. In the past, when I finally came home from the city, I was so damn exhausted from running the rat race I would just plop down and zone out.

6. I have been trying a new spray to enhance my natural waves during these summer months. Currently, I am using Not Your Mother's Salt Spray and am in love with the coconut scent!! I actually took advice from my Shape magazine and started using a lightweight mousse to give my roots a bit of volume, followed by a quick blow-dry at the roots, the salt spray and some major scrunching and tossling and scalp massaging.
I think the process is great and super quick to boot!

7. I will never understand people that feel like they have to one up you. News Flash: NO ONE CARES. We have been lightly dipping out toes in the whole "meet your neighbors" routine. I know this must sound insane, but Mark and I could honestly do just fine without constantly running into our neighbors all the time. Some people are totally cool, but most people are straight up crazy and I'd rather not waste my time with them. We found a couple that seem alright until they start talking. And by talking, I mean, they will ask you a question about something you have, then immediately one up you by what they have or did that was better than you. Awesome dude. Please, by all means, let's continue this conversation because I'm thrilled. I'm going to be over here minding my own business and it would be super cool if just backed the F up for a hot minute.

8. I love the wardrobe romance that is Starting A New Job and Constantly Looking Cute. I have always been that nerd that got excited to pick out my "first day of school" outfit. I'd like to start taking outfit photos for the blog, but my bathroom lighting is atrocious and we don't have a full length mirror in the ladies bathroom. However, seeing as I am the only lay-dee in my office, I plan to remedy that ASAP and hop on the fashion show train! Watch out for a lot of TJ Maxx outfits in the future!

9. When you don't listen to the radio for two years because you don't drive to work, you kind of get out of touch with "what's cool" these days. That or my age is showing and I have deemed 99% of all new music total garbage. I tend to volley between Kiss FM and Jack FM (today's hits and classic rock) and usually end up staying with Jack FM. There is this current song out that is just ear piercing. The only lyrics I know go like, "You're the light"...and then I have to switch it. What in the actual fuck is that? Why is everything to raspy and whiny and sounds like someone threw their computer in the garbage disposal?

What are your confessions?