Mrs. McPeePants

Raise your hands if you have peed your pants before?
:crickets:

Um....no, honey. You are all lying and I can see you and your wet swamp crotch.

I have. And shockingly, it has nothing to do with shoving a watermelon sized baby out of a lemon sized vagina. Which, would actually be a perfectly acceptable excuse and one that I will most definitely exercise on the daily because dudes....it's a problem.

I don't just pee my pants for fun. Or because it's cool.

I pee my pants because I do something crazy like sneeze.
Did I mention this has been an issue for a while?

I have to do the hyper-cross legged thing when I know a sneeze is coming on...or, if, say...someone makes me snort with laughter.
A little pee will come out.

I clearly haven't been doing my keegles. Which I full on plan to do every day, when I remember.
And then someone at work told me that if it's bad before, and you DO have kids, you're fucked.
And then you need surgery......WHUCK?
No thank you to pee pants surgery.
No thank you to peeing your pants in general.

So, as I'm working or doing whatever, you can bet your wet ass that I am probably squeezing my internal ladybits to tone them up for the labor miracle that is child birth.
To infinity and beyond, folks.

I like to squeeze them out to the beat of Salt n' Peppa's "Push it."
OH yea.... picture that for a hot minute will ya?

Can you pull a muscle from over kegaling?
How do you stretch after this workout?

These are a few of the questions I have thought to myself in the past few weeks since starting this new workout routine.
Anyways, wish me luck that includes a future of sneezing in any current state of spread eagle that I feel like.
And if it doesn't work...those Depends seem pretty chic, amiright?
*************************************************************

I just know these two ladies are going to be thrilled to be on a post about peeing.
Especially since they are new sponsors!
(You knew what you were getting into with a blog name of Pants Off....right?)

Anyways, please meet Alexa from Travel Mi Amor and Alma from Can I Borrow That!

Alexa writes all about her fascinating travels around the world. She shares her insider tips the best locations, best deals, ways to save money while on the road and takes the most breath-taking photos this gal ever did see!
She just recently finished up a two part blog post about her visits to MY home away from (ie-place of work)...Chicago!!

I urge you to check in with her often as she always has something new and exciting to share!
Did I mention she has two bulldogs just like me?!?! (This may or may not be the reason I started following her in the first place!)

If you aren't already following her on BLOGLOVIN'....you can also catch cool updates with her via Instagram and Pinterest!  Stop by and tell her Tia sent ya!

Alma is a California belle documenting her fitness journey (and attempt at borrowing her friends clothes)!
She is currently on vacation in Tijuana (so lucky!) and is quite the funny lady!

I always imagine our paths would have crossed if we didn't live so far away from each other!!
She is hilarious, sassy, and serious about getting into shape. Alma does weekly weighs ins and is all about motivating not only herself but everyone around her.

The best way to tag along while she is werkin' on her fitness is through BLOGLOVIN!

But, she would always accept more love from Instagram and Facebook!! Don't we all?!
Make sure you stop by and give her a virtual high-five for already losing almost 50 pounds!
Tell her Tia sent ya.

That's all for me folks!! I have big news on the horizon regarding a fun journey myself and Candra put together for a large group of bloggers...more info on Monday!

Have a great weekend! I hope you laugh so hard you pee your pants!