PiYo and OPK...sadly the two most exciting things in my life today

My life has been consumed with peeing onto and into things recently

WTF is that?

A quickie for ya.  Bayou and I went to a housewarming party yesterday where there were babies and puppies galore!!! I just wanted to SMASH them they were so cute.  Anyways...I wore a thin summer dress....something super fancy that I believe I bought in South Beach for approximately $3.  It's backless; and I'm all "I'M SO SMART!" I will wear my petals.  What are these you ask?
Oh just these fucking things....

Tits and Tats

I haven't had too many super sweet awesome things happen in the past couple of days; although there is always room to share.  Since I have a hard time organizing my thoughts; this is obviously the best outlet.....

In all seriousness

Most of my posts have been relatively fun and lighthearted, but this morning, as I am rifling through work emails like a zombie, I decided to put adult related serious activities on hold for a sec and talk about my night. See...I tend to be a creeper on a lot of blogs, just like you guys :), and never really post any comments, but enjoy reading other people's insanity. I suppose it makes me feel a little less psycho myself. During my train ride home, I furiously flipped through a blog called "Motherhood: A Descent Into Madness", and had to end with THIS post. Not because I think her writing is bad or that the topic was inappropriate; quite the opposite actually. She gives wonderful insight to women (and men) both with and without kids, about what it's like to raise 3 of her own. This post was a reflection about something horrendous she witnessed as a child, and how it has resonated with her ever since. I completely, 100% agree with her tone and view on the topic, and it will end up being one of my own fears raising kids as well.

Boo Yeah!

I wanted to say a quick THANK YOU!  And why?!?!!?  Because you LIKE ME! You REALLY LIKE ME!   My little blog ticker thing says I have had just over 200 page views since I started this terrible AWESOME blog 2 weeks ago. (And NO, 199 of those aren't from yours truly, I was actually able to disable my computers from recording myself.)
So this means I have 199 creepers new friends or just 10 good friends that are willing to stalk my page over and over and over again. I'll take it, either way.


So do me a quickie (that's what she said) and go ahead and actually start following my blog and posting comments!!! I love comments! Just keep it clean people and send me some lovin!

TBag. Out.

So. Stupid.

How many pregnancy tests do I have to fail prior to my "lady time" before I lose my mind?

Why can't I just wait until I "don't get it" to have some actual confirmation. 

Why am I so. stupid.........(don't answer that.  I already know.)

It's just not gonna happen this month.  Maybe next month.....which means another month of summer to drink!!!

4th of July Massacre

What's up fools?!  I hope everyone has SOME kind of fun plans for today, even if those plans are sitting in your air conditioned house, chugging Jameson through a straw and passing out early.

My "plans" started last night, where apparently I forgot how to drink correctly, had a whopping 2 Bud Lite Platinum's and passed out at 8pm, completely dizzy.  I know.... it was intense.  In my defense, those suckers have 6% alcohol as opposed to the standard 4.5% so it's really like having 3 WHOLE. BEERS.  Polished off some Chipotle and I was happily flopped into bed.

For today's festivities; we start with our traditional weekend mornings, which involves me brushing Retard to death with a rubber blue hand brush pad thingy, coffee, lots of coffee, and witnessing, yet again, the uninvited guests that have graced us with their annual 4th of July presence.  Who are these guests you ask?

Basket case

I am being overly productive by sipping a Bud Lite Platinum (only the classiest, I Know.) and watching Kendra on Top.  And the episode was when they put their son, Hank Jr. into pre-school for the first time.  On their way out after they dropped him off, Kendra starts blubbering, and the hell if I didn't start to choke up for the same reason.  What. Is. Wrong. With. Me.  I don't even have a kid.  Get a grip TBag! 
That is all. 

PS- this post is titled "Basket-case" because Kendra's hubby's last name is Basket......get it? GET IT?
I know, I'm so awesome.

A Little bit Retarded

I figured I would clue you in on the habits of my other fur face, however, it may be cut short as I am currently monitoring a potential brawl between the two (Asshole has one of Retard's toys and Retard is hovering over Asshole whining....so far so good)