WTF is that?

A quickie for ya.  Bayou and I went to a housewarming party yesterday where there were babies and puppies galore!!! I just wanted to SMASH them they were so cute.  Anyways...I wore a thin summer dress....something super fancy that I believe I bought in South Beach for approximately $3.  It's backless; and I'm all "I'M SO SMART!" I will wear my petals.  What are these you ask?
Oh just these fucking things....

These fun little gems stick to your boobies and you can pull them up, down, all around to make it look like you got a little cleavage (even though you are probably just out of training bras and trying to act like an adult.......whaaaat?) plus they cure any issues with nipping out.  So I slap those puppies on and off we went.  Done. We get all the way to our friends house in the heat so I assumed I was golden.  5 whole minutes after we got to the party and I grabbed a drink....they were stuck to my stomach. . Now I just looked like I had a whee lil' alien baby.  So cute.  So into my purse they went and I continued to "free boob" it.  Like I said; I have the cleavage of a 12 year old boy; so really it's not a big deal.

It was all fun and games until a neighbor creep chucked a water balloon straight at my boy chest causing my entire dress to be soaked in a hot minute.  Awesome.  The entire dress clung to me like a bad habit.

And the best part?  Guess what I found in my purse at work this morning?  Yes, boobie petals.  Like a fun little reminder of the drama that happened that only I knew about.....and now the entire world knows.  You're welcome.

That is all.  Boobie tassels and sticky petals.....TBag out.