The Devil is Misoprostol

Oh hey girl....haaaiiii.
Let me fill you in on what's been going on this weekend and the first half of this week.

Dudes that read this.....it's about to get hot n' heavy....in the baby-making ladybit department, so you may or may not want to tune in for the rest.
You've been warned.
 Last Friday morning I was scheduled for an HSG test. Those of you not down with TTC lingo...it's when your gyno shoves a catheter through your cervical opening and then shoots a blue contrast dye into your uterus to confirm if you have any blockage in your tubes.
Sounds like a lot of fun, right?
It was not. Not unless you like the feeling of a forced period cramp that only gets worse and not better.
And then guess what? She didn't even get to do the test.
Why? Because apparently my opening is non-existent. She stated, multiple times, while I had 45 metal objects splaying my hoo-haa open, that she "couldn't even get the smallest catheter in."
But by all means....keep poking a few more times.

So after a few more failed attempts, and my failed attempt at "zen-ing out" (which was really just me arching my back and screaming FFFUUUUUCCCKKKK. I know. Worst. Date. Ever.) she said I would have to come back to have everything done under anesthesia.
Awesome.
She mentioned me having a D&C...to which I was like....whuck? Isn't that for a miscarriage?
She explained that it's really just the D part (giggle)....dilation and some kind of scope to determine any blockage, followed by the actual HSG test.  She said if I thought it hurt now, imagine the pain of doing this stuff under anesthesia. As in....blowing up my lady parts like a balloon.

Now for the timing aspect.
Apparently the procedure has to be done between days 7-10 of your cycle.
I mention that Monday will actually be day 10, but she quickly dismisses it to something about scheduling with the OR takes a couple weeks.
I said cool, changed into my thunder pad, and was on my way. A bit defeated and crampy, but relatively optimistic.
Mark and I are walking out of the ER and I am tearing up to him about the issue and the next steps.
I get home and am readying myself for work, when the Gyno calls.
"We can get you in on Monday. I will have the ER and reception call to get your medical history, schedule you, and explain the process. We are also sending a Rx to your pharmacy. Please use it the night before your procedure."

Alright then! Moving quickly! I email my boss for time off and then spend the rest of the day answering every medical question under the sun, updating my married name status, etc.
We're off and running.
One of the 14 ladies I speak with that day explains to me that I can't drink at all on Sunday (boo-urns), so Mark and I take it easy this weekend...swimming and generally just hanging out.

Everything is easy peasy until last night.
I got my Rx...called Misoprostol. And honestly, I didn't think to hit the Googles to find out what the Hell it was that I was shoving up my ladybits. I just knew that I had to take them as prep for my surgery today.

The devil lives in this bottle

Dudes. These pills induce labor.
Real live labor...and is geared mainly to those that choose abortion or need to complete a miscarriage, or, as WebMD states, to "ripen the cervix for a surgical procedure."
That's me....good ole' Ripey Vagina.

I'm about to get all graphic so just bear with me.
I put all four pills into the baby-reservoir and lady down.
No big deal. But I can slowly feel a bit of pain coming on.
I make Mark bring me Ibuprofen, thinking it would feel like my period is happening again, and that would be it.
No.
What ends up happening is what I would describe as labor. I have never been through it, but it is exactly how I imagined it might be.  Ladies that have been through this or taken these pills, feel free to share your thoughts.
This wave of intense pain washes over my lower stomach and back, followed by an intense need to use the facilities followed by uncontrollable shaking.
I'm freezing. I can't get comfortable. My body is violently purging all the things from it (you catch my drift).
I am breathing very loudly and deeply, in and out of child's pose, clenching my stomach.
Wave after wave of this intense pain and I can hardly walk I am shaking so bad.
I have a hoodie on, fleece pj bottoms, and thick socks. And it's 80 outside.
More Ibuprofen.
Four hours later, I must have passed out finally and the pain subsided. I am still cramping as we speak, but at least it's not like last night.
2am rolls around and the sirens in our town go off.
Tornado warning.
I try to ignore the sound but Mark says we should move downstairs at least.
And we do the logical thing, we sit on our porch for an hour and watch the storm roll through.
It was surreal. This whole night was just odd.

I set my alarm for 7am, enough time to get some breakfast and liquids in me before my 8 hour pre-surgery cut-off and start my work from home morning.

I am set for an afternoon surgery, followed by a day off to recover.
I am praying there are no more obstacles. This seems like it was more than enough.
I should have a game plan and an answer this afternoon, if I am not too groggy from the IV.
Wish me luck folks....more over, wish me no more pain!!! Until delivery....that is.

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Speaking of a chick who is constantly overcoming obstacles....do yo know MarlaJan?
She blogs over at Luck Fupus and I am so very honored that we were able to connect through this little blogging world of ours.

My little labor obstacle is nothing compared to what Marla goes through on a weekly basis. This chick is tough and incredibly optimistic.
She has been chosen as a Spokesperson for Wego Health and has been on various panels battling against a very male-dominated medical world to shed some light regarding Lupus.

I encourage you to follow her story. You won't regret it.
You can follow her along via Bloglovin' or Facebook!!
Stop by and tell her Tia sent ya!

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Finally! The winner of the June Sponsor Zappos.com giveaway is Cassie!!
Cassie, you have 24 hours to email me, handsonpantsoff@gmail.com, to claim your prize!!
Congrats lady!!


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