We work.
Recently....it's been a bit of a mess. It's been this ongoing nagging feeling between us and it came to a head this weekend. Now...that is NOT the reason I chucked my laptop across the room, but I'm sure my lack of patience from what I was attempting to do on the computer had fuel added to the fire by the fact that I wanted to put hot pokers in Bayou's eyes.
In a nutshell....our weekends and overall demeanor are a bit different. I am a homebody and feel like I completely spent on energy by the time the weekend rolls around. I can be perfectly happy at home, taking care of loose ends, and just generaly vegging out. Don't get me wrong, I like seeing people and am very outgoing, I just can't keep that pace up all weekend and then be of any worth at work.
Bayou? Not so much. On top of the fact that his work is basically 7 days a week, he gets antsy sitting in the house for more than 4 hours at a time. He loves being away, seeing people, out doing things, etc.
Needless to say, the winter weather, lack of sunlight, and lack of fun things to do has made me overly grumpy, impatient, and a generally unlikeable person. I don't want to leave the warmth of my couch for than necessary to workout, run errands, and take care of the dogs. I haven't been connecting with friends as much, if at all, and finally realized that a lot of what is going may be hinting on some form of depression, even if it's just seasonal. I have watched my father recover for a large bout of it recently and what he went through started to hit home for me as well. I don't think I am anywhere near that state of needing therapy and medication, but it could be a slippery slope if I chose to shut out the outside world too much and 'stay comfortable.'
Bayou brings out my more social side, and I love that. Although recently, we haven't been talking about things that have been bothering us as much...which is unlike us, and it basically hit a peak this weekend and exploded.
Working out is a bit of a therapy with me. I know what I need to say but can't seem to find the words and relax enough to make any rational sense. Last night we kept bickering and arguing and I just wanted it to be done, but internally I felt like it wasn't over because I was so frustrated that my words weren't getting through to him. So I stopped everything. I stopped yelling and swearing and being a huge ass and told him to do the same, laced up my running shoes and ran my angry ass off on that treadmill until I just let go of everything. I didn't really think about anything more than the fact that I had to get through 20 minutes of cardio...minute by minute. At the end of it....I was exhausted, spent, but my mind was clearer. I wasn't mad anymore.
As I washed my face and cleaned up....I chatted with Bayou and my words started making sense to both of us. We got over it and are moving on. The fact of the matter is, is maybe I DO have some form of depression, but with his assistance to make us a more team effort and get up and get moving besides the gym, and my effort to be more open to suggestions....we can move forward. Just like always.
I will continue to workout to keep myself sane (and slim).
Up next? Your CARDIO workout for tomorrow!!!
We are going to continue with some HIIT intervals and include some standing aerobics as well.
10 minute set, repeated 2-3 times.
Equipment: Treadmill or any cardio equipment of choice.
Lineup:
1:00 Minute Warm-Up: Walking (3-4mph) at 1% incline
1:00 Minute Jog: (4-6mph) at 3-5% incline
:30 Second Print (6-9mph) at 3-5% incline
*Repeat Jog/Spring series 3 more times until the 7 Minute mark.
1:00 Minute- Speed Jumping Jacks (as fast as possible)
1:00 Minute High Knee Tires (as fast as possible)
1:00 Minute Burpees (as fast as possible)
*Hop back on treadmil and repeat entire series, including walking warm-up, 2-3 more times*
Rageoholic TBag. Out.
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