Thoughts for Friday

Creating my own happy...Tis the season for too much to do and not enough time to do it in.
My mantra is to embrace the here and now.
Looking around, I smile about the sunlight coming in through the windows.
If it's cloudy and windy, I'm grateful for the walls around me for protection.
I'm happy to be able to take warm baths to soothe aching muscles, and dogs just lazy enough to snuggle with.
I always start listening to Christmas music, especially when it's snowing, and honestly, snow might not happen as often this Christmas, and that's okay.
Family drama always comes to the forefront during the holidays. It will always been there and I know that. So I just smile and move on. There is always tomorrow.
I can't change the big things, I can only change my reaction to them.
And I choose happy.

Plans change....they get pushed up, cancelled, sorta come to fruition...whatever.
I try to be loose, go with the flow, find other options. Just when I think my plate runneth over with to-do's....people cancel.
Or commitments change.
Could I get mad?
Sure. But what's the point.
It's all just details. I'm with them in spirit.

Worrying is a waste of time...I have spent many a sleepless nights worrying if the dogs will behave while we are away for a simple overnight this weekend.
Even though I have told myself repeatedly that worrying is of no use, I do it anyways.
My remedy has been to talk about my feelings with Mark. Usually one of us can calm the other's crazy down.
And you know what? My dogs just might be assholes.
It's in their nature to be that way sometimes, and it might happen when I'm not around.
Such is life. Hopefully they will be perfect slobbering angels though.

Reconnecting with my husband...This is the first winter season in nearly five years where I have been truly happy in the here and now. Trying to have a child sapped so much of my happy each Christmas. I kept thinking how wonderful it would be to finally get knocked up and be able to announce my pregnancy to my family. Like how you see in the movies.
I don't know how it'll pan out. I'm so beyond worrying about how I'm going to announce. We have so many hurdles just to get to that point and it's all out of my hands.
But, one thing I do know. Not worrying about timing and if we are broken and testing and all that has been downright amazing. I feel like I am so much more connected with Mark than I ever was before. There isn't this baby-making blinder over me anymore. We'll move forward together.
We have our weekly hot tub chats where we dream about the future, talk about current issues, work out problems.
Everything seems to remedy itself during those evenings over a few drinks.

Making my voice heard.....We are building out another wing of our office and from the get-go I have loudly vocalized that, although I am willing to assist with wearing hats that include receptionist duties....I am NOT a Receptionist anymore.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
It's just child's play for me at this level of my career.
I have been patiently sitting in this front desk for six months waiting for the day to come where I can pick out an office.
A real office with real walls.
One that connects me closer to upper management and away from the telemarketers and UPS delivery guys.

My commute.....I've said it a hundred times and I'll say it a million more. Thank the lord baby Jesus for a suburban commute. The mornings have been cold and yet when I was working in the city, I had to trek through that nonsense day in and day out.
It really beats you down.
Your spirit dies a little every time you exit a building and the wind whips you in your face....for miles.
Now, I get to keep cute hair and not have to bundle up like I'm going hiking in the Andes.
My mascara doesn't run and I'm not frazzled by the time I get to work.
I get to sit in my comfortable car and take the scenic route to work.
I'm sure I'll have a completely different perspective about the snow and cold when I'm driving through it.
My truck was built for it.
Hell, I might even smile about it.

And with that, I'm off to do some baking and get ready for our weekend.
Thank you for reading!