Good for you, not for me

For the smallest second I jumped back into the deep end with blogging.
You know, the one where you join a bunch of other bloggers in a "social" group and virtually get to know each other and become besties?

Ha....does that even sound like me?
I mean, re-reading that sentence made my voice jump six octaves and overuse the word "like."
Side eye.

I picked the wrong group. I just sorta jumped in and didn't realize what I was doing.

Not a big deal, by any means, but it's kind of like looking at the gaggle of cheerleaders when you're in the band and not knowing how to break the ice.

Uhhhh.....wanna spin my flag? It's pretty neat! No? Oh...ok. 

The toughest part of blogging is deciding what group you want to speak to.
Who is your audience?
A lot of people pick a niche and run with it, be it fashion, cooking, weight loss, whatever.

But me? I'm sort of undefined.

At times it was heavy on the baby stuff (and will probably ramp up with that again next year).
At times it was more fitness involved.
But really, this little space of mine is just a product of how my mind works in my own little world.
And the way that it works is I tend to get super focused on things from time to time, and then at other times, I just kind of float...just above the surface.

Once I realized I was in the wrong group I kindly got the hell out of there as fast as I could.
Good for them, not for me.
Because all of a sudden I was getting invites to "events" where we would all get online together and chat about our blogs....but the event was ON A SCHOOL NIGHT.....AT DINNER.
No thanks.
Good for them, not for me.

I'm sure they will all be super friends but if there is ONE thing I have never been good at, it's having a large group of friends (of the girl persuasion). I have never had a tribe. I don't have a gaggle of ladies in and around my beckon call.

I have drifted.
Different between social scenes, things that inspired me here and there.
I've gained a few solid friends that will be around forever.
And lost a few too.

And that's okay for me.
I am rather independent and choose to do things on a whim.
And although sometimes I bauble and lose my way, and sometimes DO need the support of others, for the most part?
I'm cool.
I got this.
Solo.

If I could sum up how I like to do things in one instance, it would be shopping.
I cannot stand having to choose outfits or chotchkes in the company of other women, or men for that matter.
Gabbing about life and looking at those objects, at the same time, overwhelms me.
I can't think straight.
I need time to weigh the pros and cons, see if I can find a better value, and then swoop in and out as quickly as possible and get it over with and get on with life.
I guess that's weird, right?

Not exactly I girly girl, I suppose. But then again, I find comfort working with all dudes.
Junk jokes mixed with a little tough-girl fashion and "get your hands dirty" is my game.

Alas, I have drifted off course and started including random snippets of my whole life in a post that rambles on about mostly nothing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is....do you, boo.

Whatever that is. With whoever it's with.

Embrace whatever it is you are good at and finally freakin' acknowledge what you aren't good at.
That counts too!

For me, I don't know if I'll ever find the right blogging clique. Hell, I don't even know if I WANT a blogging clique. Too much pressure, in a world that doesn't even really exist....right?

What I do know is I am grateful for the few readers I have.
It makes my ramblings about daily life and deep thoughts a little more meaningful, especially if one or two of you have gone through something similar.

And with that, I leave you with a photo of my dog who is sad because I cleaned out his ears.

Happy hump day, loves!