IVF Update: Stims Day 1-6

Good morning folks!
It's been a hot minute since I updated non-TTCers with where we are at with all this IVF junk.

I am currently on Day 6 of my stimulation protocol, but let's back up to Day 1 and chat.
Sound good?
Good.

Friday afternoon was considered Day 1 of the injections and I would be lying if I told you I wasn't a total basket case all day.
I was so incredibly nervous. I felt on the verge of crying the entire day.
This pit in my stomach wouldn't leave, and I kept thinking to myself...what am I getting into? I don't think I can do this? WHY do I want to do this?

I kept looking at my clock counting down the minutes.

Finally, I bolted from work a few minutes early, because immediately following my injections for the evening, we were scheduled to compete in a charity dodgeball tournament for my company.

To say I had EVERY EMOTION IMAGINEABLE that day was an understatement.
I got home at 5pm, looked at Mark...and just started crying.
A complete and total meltdown where I kept reiterating....WHY we are doing this? WHY does it have to be so involved? WHY do we have to go through this?

I try my best to keep my emotions in check because honestly, I don't want to freak out Mark. He has been through his own slew of emotions, but for the longest time, I just kept saying... oh it's no big deal...it's just a few shots! And...it'll all be over so quickly, we totally have this in the bag! 

And so on...but damn, when the time actually came to nut up or shut up...I totally crumbled.

And then like a damn light switch, I wiped away my tears, and got fucking angry.

I was angry that we have to go through all of this for something that should come naturally.

I was angry that we have to wait and wait and wait for the next step, then I have to STAB myself who knows how many times just to get eggs to MAYBE grow, and MAYBE become embryos, that MAYBE develop correctly, and then MAYBE survive a freeze and genetic testing, and then MAYBE survive a thaw and MAYBE get transferred correctly and MAYBE become a baby?!?!?

It's insane. We are insane. This whole process is insane.

And then we got to work. Disinfecting our work surface.
Mixing meds.
Measuring.
Switching needles.
Alcohol swabs on errythang.

Deep breathe. One...two...three....stab.
Okay. One...two....three....inject.

In a matter of seconds it was over.

And you know what? It's not that bad.

Each day has been slightly different.

My protocol included two daily injections on Days 1-4.
450units of Follistim.
Follistim is a cartridge of poison that is injected through a pen-looking syringe.
You load the cartridge into the pen, twist everything back together, add a needle, then dial up the dosage.
Fun fact....450 units is the entire length you can dial. Fun.
And other fun fact, as you plunge the liquid in, it clicks the entire fucking way down.

The needle is tiny and for me...the liquid stung a tiny bit.

Then comes Menopur.

This comes in 3 vials, a vial of diluent and, for me, two vials of powder.
So you plunge the needle into the liquid, draw everything up, squirt the liquid into powder 1, let it dissolve, draw everything up and plunge into the second powder, wait until dissolved, draw THAT up and switch to the correct needle.

My only tip with this is for whatever reason, the syringe kept wanting to automatically push the liquid out so we had to kind of hold it in place between powders to make sure we didn't lose anything.

Fun fact with this....it does burn. I'm not going to lie. The needle is tiny so that's not really the problem. We did fast and slow and it hurts (temporarily) either way. You have to remember it's all over if in a few seconds though.

I would say it feels like you have a cut that you are pouring salt into...but it's UNDER the skin.

See?....FUN.

The morning of Day 5 I had an ultrasound and bloodwork.
I already had 13 follicles growing between 9-13mm.
The nurse called to say my estrogen seemed high but it's in line with how quickly my follicles are growing.

My meds were adjusted slightly to make Follistim 300units instead of 450units.
Menopur stayed the same.

And bright and early today (Day 6) I started Ganirelix.
This will stop impending ovulation until we trigger.

My lovely TTC sisters told me the needle would suck because it's bigger and more dull.
I had heard you get headaches, injection site redness and itching.

So I was nervous.

But....it was actually pretty easy!

The ONLY side effects I have dealt with since Day 1 is that fact that I can seriously feel my ovaries.
They are definitely swollen and bigger every day.

Peeing is weird. Normally I just go and push it out, but now I sort of feel like I just "see what happens" and hope everything will eventually trickle out. :)

I have to go back in every day this week for morning monitoring.
I haven't had a moment to think about this, nor much time for exercise, but whatever.

I have a feeling we may trigger by week's end!

More info to come, my dear!

Also, as you may not know, this week is NIAW, or National Infertility Awareness Week.
Although I actually hate that I am included in this week...it's real and it's important to let our voices be heard about the trials and tribulations surrounding infertility.

A great post, if you are interested in reading, is from a fellow infertility blogger HERE.

Thanks for following along and thank you for reading!! XO